Are You Making These 5 Common Mistakes When Choosing Therapy Services?
It's easy to feel overwhelmed choosing a therapist.
Avoid five common mistakes: skipping credentials, ignoring reputation, rushing, dismissing your gut, and skipping check-ins.
Do brief consults, look for fit, and give yourself permission to switch if it's not working.
Choosing a therapist can feel overwhelming when you're already carrying a lot. You're juggling research, reviews, and a dozen open tabs.
It's normal to feel unsure about what matters most. There isn't one perfect roadmap, but there are common pitfalls you can avoid.
Making a thoughtful choice saves you time, money, and emotional energy. Let's walk through five mistakes you can skip so you find a good fit from the start.
Mistake #1: Not Checking Qualifications
This might seem obvious, but you'd be surprised how many people skip this step entirely. They assume anyone calling themselves a therapist must be properly trained and licensed.
Here's what you need to verify:
Current license status – Look up your therapist on your state's licensing board website
Education and training – Master's or doctoral degree in a mental health field
Specialized certifications – Especially if you need help with specific issues like trauma or addiction
Years of experience – Both overall and with your particular concerns
Don't feel awkward about asking these questions upfront. Any legitimate therapist will be happy to share their credentials and explain their background. If someone gets defensive or evasive about their qualifications, that's a red flag.
For military families: Make sure your therapist has experience working with military culture and understands deployment cycles, PCS moves, and the unique stressors service members face.
Mistake #2: Not Checking Reputation
Word-of-mouth and online reviews aren't everything, but they can give you valuable insights into what working with a particular therapist is actually like.
Where to look:
Google reviews – Pay attention to patterns in feedback, not just star ratings
Psychology Today profiles – Many therapists maintain detailed profiles here
Referrals from trusted sources – Your doctor, friends, or family members who've had positive experiences
Professional directories – State licensing boards often include complaint histories
Look for comments about whether the therapist listens well, shows up on time, and creates a safe environment. Avoid therapists with multiple complaints about poor boundaries or unprofessional behavior.
Remember, no therapist is perfect, and you might see some mixed reviews. Focus on whether the positive feedback mentions qualities that matter to you.
Mistake #3: Rushing Into the Decision
When you're struggling, it's natural to want help immediately. But jumping at the first available appointment can lead to a poor match that sets back your progress.
Take time to:
Schedule consultation calls with 2-3 potential therapists
Ask about their approach to treatment and whether it aligns with your preferences
Discuss logistics like scheduling flexibility, cancellation policies, and communication between sessions
Consider the practical details – location, parking, office environment
Most therapists offer brief phone consultations to help you determine if you're a good fit. Use this time to get a sense of their personality and whether you feel comfortable talking with them.
Red flags during consultations:
Therapist seems rushed or distracted
They make promises about quick fixes or guaranteed outcomes
You feel judged or misunderstood
They push you to commit to a long-term treatment plan immediately
Mistake #4: Ignoring Your Instincts
Your gut feeling about a therapist matters more than their impressive credentials or convenient location. Therapy only works when you feel safe enough to be vulnerable and honest.
Trust your instincts if:
You don't feel heard or understood
The therapist seems to judge your lifestyle, relationships, or choices
You feel worse after sessions consistently (some temporary discomfort is normal, but you shouldn't leave feeling attacked or hopeless)
They push their personal beliefs or agenda
Something just feels "off" even if you can't put your finger on it
Pay attention to positive signs too:
You feel comfortable sharing difficult topics
The therapist remembers important details from previous sessions
You notice small improvements in how you handle stress
They respect your pace and don't pressure you to discuss topics you're not ready for
It's okay to acknowledge that someone might be a skilled therapist who's just not the right fit for you. Personality matters in therapy, and what works for others might not work for you.
Mistake #5: Not Seeking Accountability or Support
Many people treat therapy like a one-and-done decision. They pick someone, hope for the best, and suffer in silence if things aren't working out.
Here's a better approach:
Communicate directly first: If something isn't working, bring it up with your therapist. Good therapists want feedback and will work with you to adjust their approach.
Set check-in points: After 3-4 sessions, honestly assess whether you're making progress or at least feeling more hopeful about the process.
Don't be afraid to switch: If you've given it an honest try and it's not helping, it's okay to find someone else. Your therapist should even help with referrals if they recognize you'd be better served elsewhere.
Know your options: If you have serious concerns about a therapist's conduct, you can file a complaint with their licensing board.
Build a support network: Consider joining support groups, staying connected with friends and family, or working with other professionals (like a psychiatrist for medication) alongside therapy.
Quick Checklist Before You Book
Verify active license on your state board.
Confirm experience with your concerns (trauma, anxiety, grief, military culture).
Scan reviews for patterns about safety, reliability, and fit.
Book 1–2 brief consult calls; ask about approach, goals, and logistics.
Clarify practicals: fees, insurance or superbills, telehealth, location, and availability.
Notice your gut: Do you feel heard, respected, and at ease?
Set a 3–4 session check-in to assess progress; adjust or switch if needed.
Ask for referrals if it’s not a fit—it's part of good care.
Getting It Right From the Start
Choosing the right therapist doesn't have to be perfect science, but avoiding these common mistakes will dramatically improve your chances of finding someone who can actually help.
Remember, therapy is an investment in your mental health and overall well-being. Taking time to make an informed choice upfront can save you months of frustration and get you the support you deserve.
At True North Wellness & Counseling, we understand how important it is to find the right therapeutic fit. That's why we offer consultation calls to help you determine if our approach aligns with your needs and goals.
If you're ready to take that next step, we'd love to talk with you about how we can support your journey toward better mental health.
Disclaimer: This blog post is for educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding your mental health.
